GÖRMEK İSTEDİĞİN DEĞİŞİMİN KENDİSİ OL

GÖRMEK İSTEDİĞİN DEĞİŞİMİN KENDİSİ OL

Vaktimizin çoğunu diğer insanları değiştirmeye çalışarak harcıyoruz. Ne de olsa onlarla ilgili yanlış olan pek çok şey var; benciller, küstahlar, zorbalar, zayıflar, soğuklar, muhtaçlar vb… Bunların bazılarına dikkat çekmeye çalışıyoruz ve çoğu zaman direnişle, inkarla ya da düpedüz umursamazlıkla karşılaşıyoruz. Bu oldukça kışkırtıcı olabilir ve dolayısıyla bizi aksileştirir ve sertleştirir.

İnsanlar neden öğütlerimizi dinlemiyor?

Bizim davranışlarımız üstü kapalı bir şekilde diğer insanların davranışlarını değiştirmeye meyillidir. Belli açılardan gelişmemiz gerektiğini biliyor olabiliriz, ancak şu an için odağımız diğerini değiştirmektir. Diğer insanların evrimine koşullu olarak bağlı bir şekilde, kendi davranışımızda evrim gerçekleştiriyoruz. Eğer onlar daha iyi olursa bizim de daha iyi olacağımıza, bağırmayı bırakırsa daha sessiz olacağımıza inanıyoruz. Bununla birlikte önemli bir içgörüyü görmemeye meyilliyiz; diğerlerine karşı davranışlarımızı değiştirmek diğerlerinin de size karşı davranışlarını değiştirmenin en hızlı yolu olabilir!

İnsanlar, şaşılacak seviyede, davranışları yansıtmaya meyillidir. Eğer birisi bize karşı saldırgan davranışlar sergilerse biz de saldırganlaşıyoruz; eğer nazikse biz de yumuşak davranıyoruz. Eğer birisi bilgece hareket ediyorsa, karşısındakiler de içlerinde saklı kalmış tüm bilgelik rezervlerini açığa çekecektir. Çoğu zaman tümüyle tersi davranışları kullanarak, bir tür davranışın savunuculuğunu yaptığımızda kendimiz çelişik bir durumda bulunuyoruz.

2

3

Çocuğumuza, eşimize ya da arkadaşımıza sakin olmasını önerirken sakin kalabiliyor muyuz yoksa bunu çok kızgın bir şekilde mi yapıyoruz? Zorbalıktan yakınırken, bir insanın daha anlayışlı olması konusunda ısrarcı olmamız bizi de zorba yapmaz mı?

1

Anlayışı hak ediyoruz!

Öğretmeye çalışmanın kışkırtıcılığı ve kaygısı, savunuculuğunu yaptığımız davranıştan bizi kolaylıkla uzaklaştırabilir. Bu noktada Mahatma Gandhi’ ye atfedilen son derece anlamlı ve kullanışlı bir sözü hatırlamaya değer: “Görmek istediğin değişimin kendisi ol.” Bu söz önemli bir noktayı yansıtmaktadır. Örnek yoluyla öğretmeye çalışmak için, direkt olarak öğretmekten vazgeçmenin çoğu zaman ne kadar akla yatkın olduğunu belirtiyor. Bunun büyük bir faydası vardır. Bir başkasını direkt olarak kontrol etmeye çalışmak şaşılacak derecede zorken, kendimizi kontrol etmek çok kolaydır. Diğer insanlara karşı oluşan hayal kırıklığımızı eksiksiz bir biçimde komut verebileceğimiz tek şeye, kendimize yönlendirmeliyiz. Belli erdemleri sergilediğimizin görülmesinin, diğerlerini bizi taklit etmek üzere etkilemek gibi, dikkat çekici bir yeteneği vardır. Değişim anında olmasa bile en azından görmek istediğimiz değişimin kendisi olmaya başlayacak, güç ve onura sahip olduğumuzu bilerek duruşumuzun bütünlüğü konusunda gurur verici olacaktır.

Kaynakça

Theschooloflife.com, Be Change You WantTo See.

BÜMED MEÇ Okulları

Rehberlik Birimi

Share this Story

Related Posts

68 Comments

  1. xmt85c4wx5ctwxw3tcerthve56

    Haziran 20, 2017 at 7:10 am

    Title

    […]always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but do not get quite a bit of link appreciate from[…]

  2. Title

    […]here are some hyperlinks to web pages that we link to simply because we consider they may be worth visiting[…]

  3. alcohol statistics

    Haziran 29, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Title

    […]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but don’t get a lot of link adore from[…]

  4. Title

    […]Every when inside a whilst we decide on blogs that we read. Listed below are the most up-to-date internet sites that we pick out […]

  5. Title

    […]we like to honor a lot of other world-wide-web web-sites around the internet, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  6. Title

    […]below you will come across the link to some web pages that we assume you need to visit[…]

  7. Title

    […]we like to honor several other net internet sites on the internet, even though they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  8. Title

    […]please stop by the sites we stick to, including this one particular, as it represents our picks from the web[…]

  9. دانلود قسمت 12 عاشقانه

    Temmuz 5, 2017 at 12:20 pm

    Title

    […]that could be the end of this article. Here you will discover some web sites that we consider you will value, just click the links over[…]

  10. Title

    […]Here is a great Blog You might Come across Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]

  11. Title

    […]Here are some of the web-sites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  12. Title

    […]we prefer to honor a lot of other online web sites on the internet, even when they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Below are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  13. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine several unrelated data, nonetheless genuinely worth taking a search, whoa did one particular learn about Mid East has got more problerms too […]

  14. دانلود قسمت 13 عاشقانه

    Temmuz 7, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Title

    […]we like to honor many other web web pages on the web, even though they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  15. Jasmine Summers

    Temmuz 7, 2017 at 7:22 am

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  16. Peta Jensen

    Temmuz 7, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  17. Cherie DeVille

    Temmuz 8, 2017 at 2:47 am

    Title

    […]check below, are some totally unrelated websites to ours, nonetheless, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  18. Isis Love

    Temmuz 8, 2017 at 3:10 am

    Title

    […]one of our visitors not long ago recommended the following website[…]

  19. Nikki Stills

    Temmuz 8, 2017 at 4:39 am

    Title

    […]here are some links to web-sites that we link to since we think they’re worth visiting[…]

  20. Christy Mack

    Temmuz 8, 2017 at 7:11 am

    Title

    […]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but do not get lots of link like from[…]

  21. دانلود فصل دوم شهرزاد

    Temmuz 8, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Title

    […]Every after inside a when we opt for blogs that we read. Listed beneath would be the latest internet sites that we pick […]

  22. Free Stuff Worldwide

    Temmuz 9, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Title

    […]one of our visitors not long ago recommended the following website[…]

  23. Cherry Hilson

    Temmuz 9, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Title

    […]very few internet websites that transpire to be comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well really worth checking out[…]

  24. lesbian porn xxx

    Temmuz 10, 2017 at 9:46 am

    Title

    […]very few web-sites that transpire to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]

  25. slot machine casino

    Temmuz 10, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Title

    […]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get a whole lot of link appreciate from[…]

  26. سریال عاشقانه

    Temmuz 12, 2017 at 6:15 am

    Title

    […]check below, are some entirely unrelated web-sites to ours, having said that, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  27. Title

    […]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I adore but don’t get a lot of link appreciate from[…]

  28. Loyola College for Sale

    Temmuz 13, 2017 at 2:11 am

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  29. Title

    […]check below, are some entirely unrelated web-sites to ours, nonetheless, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  30. Title

    […]we like to honor numerous other net sites around the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  31. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nonetheless genuinely really worth taking a search, whoa did 1 find out about Mid East has got a lot more problerms as well […]

  32. Title

    […]check beneath, are some completely unrelated web sites to ours, however, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  33. cheap under armour shoes

    Temmuz 15, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    Title

    […]please stop by the web-sites we stick to, like this a single, because it represents our picks through the web[…]

  34. medical college in India with 45% marks

    Temmuz 17, 2017 at 8:32 pm

    Title

    […]Here is a good Blog You may Find Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]

  35. porno gratis

    Temmuz 17, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    Title

    […]Here is a great Blog You might Discover Exciting that we Encourage You[…]

  36. porno

    Temmuz 17, 2017 at 11:49 pm

    Title

    […]below you will uncover the link to some internet sites that we think you’ll want to visit[…]

  37. porno

    Temmuz 18, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine several unrelated data, nonetheless really really worth taking a appear, whoa did 1 find out about Mid East has got much more problerms also […]

  38. videos porno

    Temmuz 18, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    Title

    […]The info talked about within the report are several of the most beneficial obtainable […]

  39. videos porno

    Temmuz 18, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Title

    […]Here is a superb Blog You might Locate Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]

  40. videos porno

    Temmuz 18, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    Title

    […]Here is an excellent Blog You might Find Interesting that we Encourage You[…]

  41. porno gratis

    Temmuz 19, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Title

    […]The facts mentioned in the article are a few of the best available […]

  42. porno gratis

    Temmuz 19, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Title

    […]check below, are some completely unrelated sites to ours, nevertheless, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  43. porno

    Temmuz 19, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated information, nevertheless truly really worth taking a appear, whoa did one find out about Mid East has got a lot more problerms too […]

  44. videos porno

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 12:28 am

    Title

    […]very handful of web sites that occur to become in depth below, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]

  45. porno gratis

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Title

    […]Here are several of the websites we recommend for our visitors[…]

  46. porno gratis

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 1:58 am

    Title

    […]check beneath, are some completely unrelated websites to ours, on the other hand, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  47. porno

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 2:55 am

    Title

    […]always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but don’t get lots of link like from[…]

  48. porno

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 4:47 am

    Title

    […]although web sites we backlink to below are considerably not related to ours, we feel they may be really really worth a go through, so have a look[…]

  49. porno gratis

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Title

    […]that would be the end of this post. Right here you will discover some sites that we assume you’ll enjoy, just click the links over[…]

  50. libra man and capricorn woman love life

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    Title

    […]we like to honor lots of other net websites around the internet, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages worth checking out[…]

  51. Title

    […]that is the finish of this post. Right here you will come across some sites that we consider you will enjoy, just click the links over[…]

  52. CBD Oil For Sale

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  53. دانلود سریال عاشقانه

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    Title

    […]the time to study or visit the subject material or websites we have linked to below the[…]

  54. پنجره ضد سرقت ایرانی

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    Title

    […]we came across a cool site which you may love. Take a look if you want[…]

  55. پنجره دوجداره ویستابست

    Temmuz 20, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Title

    […]very handful of web-sites that take place to become comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]

  56. قیمت پنجره دوجداره

    Temmuz 21, 2017 at 8:15 am

    Title

    […]we came across a cool site which you may well enjoy. Take a appear in case you want[…]

  57. Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  58. ساخت پنجره دوجداره

    Temmuz 21, 2017 at 9:24 am

    Title

    […]just beneath, are various absolutely not related web sites to ours, however, they’re certainly worth going over[…]

  59. دانلود قسمت 17 عاشقانه

    Temmuz 21, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    Title

    […]one of our guests just lately proposed the following website[…]

  60. Facial Spa Services Hollywood

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Title

    […]Every once in a although we opt for blogs that we read. Listed below would be the most recent web-sites that we choose […]

  61. Acne Facial Treatments Lazy Lake

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Title

    […]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a great deal of link really like from[…]

  62. Facial Spa Services Lauderhill

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 2:55 am

    Title

    […]very few sites that occur to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively worth checking out[…]

  63. Acne Facial Treatments Lauderhill

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    Title

    […]here are some links to web pages that we link to because we assume they are really worth visiting[…]

  64. Facial Spa Services Cooper City

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    Title

    […]the time to read or take a look at the subject material or sites we’ve linked to beneath the[…]

  65. Facial Spa Services Coconut Creek

    Temmuz 22, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    Title

    […]please go to the sites we comply with, such as this 1, as it represents our picks through the web[…]

  66. پنجره

    Temmuz 23, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    Title

    […]below you’ll uncover the link to some web-sites that we consider you must visit[…]

  67. groin brace support

    Temmuz 23, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Title

    […]below you will discover the link to some internet sites that we think you’ll want to visit[…]

  68. دانلود موزیک

    Temmuz 24, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Title

    […]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we feel they are truly worth a go through, so have a look[…]